Thetans, Zeenu, L.R.H., Project Blue Beam…Oh my

The Dark Journalist connects LRH to occult Nasa & Aleister Crowley – Infowars 04/25/2023
click here to watch the entire video “This Episode of THE OUTER LIMITS TV SHOW was CENSORED For Being TOO DISTURBING” on Youtube

Gee, I wonder where L.R.H., being a prolific writer of science fiction and all, could have gotten the idea for Scientology. Hmmm, I wonder, wonder where??

L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of the cult of Scientology, was a prolific science fiction writer among other things (Navy washout). Apparently, Tom Cruise, John Travolta and David Miscavige along with every other good little Scientologist believe in an alien named Zenu and “Thetans” like the Outer Limits episode. Funny that Scientology is heavily influenced by the CIA (isn’t every evil cult?) who are also responsible for Project Blue Beam, a holographic fake alien invasion. And isn’t it interesting that “disclosure” has finally broken so publicly these days. Well, there seems to be a kink in the chain because we weren’t supposed to connect any of these obvious dots. Everything is a very old and now tired plan. Thank you Leah Remini, Aaron Smith-Levin et al.

From Wikipedia

“The Architects of Fear”
The Outer Limits episode
Episode no.
Season: 1
Episode: 3
Directed by: Byron Haskin
Written by: Meyer Dolinsky
Cinematography by: Conrad Hall
Production code: 5
Original air date: September 30, 1963

Guest appearances:


The world has entered a Cold War-like setting in which nuclear holocaust appears imminent. In the hope of staving off an apocalyptic military confrontation between nations, an idealistic group of scientists working at United Labs plans to stage a fake alien invasion of Earth in an effort to unite all humanity against a perceived common enemy. The scientists have managed to study the planetary conditions on the planet Theta. They draw lots, and physicist Dr. Allen Leighton is chosen to undergo radical surgical procedures that will transform him into an inhabitant from the planet Theta. Leighton’s death is faked, and the bizarre series of transplants and modifications to his body proceed. His wife, Yvette, persists in not believing he is dead; she even feels sympathetic pain as Allen suffers on the operating table. Complications arise when the effects of Leighton’s transformation extend beyond his physical appearance and begin to affect his mind, a situation compounded by the scientist’s strong emotional connection with his now-pregnant wife.

The scientists’ plan is for Dr. Leighton, as the Thetan creature equipped with an energy weapon and spaceship, to land at the United Nations in an effort to create initial panic. This panic, in theory, will be resolved as the world unites to fight the invader. Leighton, now a perfect simulation of an inhabitant of the planet Theta, is launched into orbit as a weather satellite, but the mission goes awry when the spaceship comes down off course and lands in a wooded area near the United Labs facility. After disintegrating their station wagon with his laser pistol, Allen is severely wounded by three armed hunters as he emerges from the underbrush. With nowhere else to go, Allen stumbles back to the lab. Yvette, sensing trouble, hurries to the lab looking for her husband. She arrives as Allen, now hideously transformed, enters and collapses to the floor. Before dying of mortal wounds, Allen makes a sign in the air with his hand, one familiar to his wife, and she then realizes the horrifying truth that the alien is, in fact, her husband.

The Aftermath Foundation


How Linus Torvalds Achieved a Net Worth of $150 Million

Net Worth
How Linus Torvalds Achieved a Net Worth of $150 Million
ByAllen Lee Posted on
January 13, 2021
Updated on
November 25, 2022

Linus Torvalds
Puppy Linux by Barry Kauler

Linus Torvalds is the mastermind behind Linux, an operating system that he released in September 1991, but has come to revolutionize the world of technology as we once knew it. His impressive coding skills even shook Steve Jobs, who wanted to hire him, but Torvalds preferred working on his dream. While at work, he carries a no-nonsense attitude, he is a doting father to his three children and loves to live large.

Then again, for a person worth millions of dollars, splurging on a Mercedes Benz and a mansion are the least of his worries. So, let’s tell you how Linus Torvalds’s net worth got to be $150 million.
Table of Contents show
A Love for Computers Begins in Childhood

Torvalds described himself as a nerd during his interview with Linux Journal. It is rare to hear of a child who loves going to school, but Torvalds belongs to that rare breed. As a child of divorced parents, maybe it was his way of coping with divorce that led him to be absorbed in the world of computers so he could spend time alone.

His parents divorced when he was a young boy leaving him to spend most of his time with his grandparents since his mother had to work as a journalist. His entire family took up the journalism path, but he decided to go down a different road.

Since he stayed with his maternal grandparents most of the time, he got to be around computers. His grandfather worked at Helsinki University as a statistics professor; therefore, owning a computer was mandatory.

By then, laptops were yet to be invented; hence it was the home computer. Torvalds became an apprentice and watched his grandfather do some programming while he took up a few skills. At first, it was not something that Torvalds enjoyed doing, but the more time he spent in front of the screen typing in programs, the more he fell in love with it gradually.
Creation of Linux

With love for programming already embedded in him, Torvalds was on the right path to success. He attended the University of Helsinki, which was not as engineering-oriented as the Helsinki University of Technology. However, the budding programmer also loved math and figured that he could get a wholesome experience from the University of Helsinki.

He enrolled for a UNIX course at the university after the institution got a machine. Since he had taken the course in the fall of 1990, by spring 1991, Torvalds was working on his project, Linux.

UNIX was costly, and seeing that the university took a while to buy it, it could take years before Torvalds could afford it. Therefore, according to it’s FOSS, the programmer created Linux instead since he was also not happy with MS-DOS and MINIX. He named his operating system Linus’s MINIX, which in short was “Linux.”

However, he thought that “Linux” could be seen as a sign of a huge ego and wanted to replace it with “Freax,” which stood for “free, Freak and Minix.” By then, it was too late; he had already asked his colleagues to use Linux as the source code for distributions, and his friend had entered it in the directory on the FTP (File Transfer Protocol) server.
It Was Not Instant Success

They say that when we look at successful people, we only see the glamor and wealth that comes with it. We barely know the struggle, frustrated dreams, sleepless nights, and wasted money it took to become prosperous, Torvalds’s journey towards his $150 million net worth is no different. He juggled, developing his project, making money, and studying.

Linus became a teacher’s assistant at the university since the government’s subsidies to university students were not enough to keep him afloat. He then rose the ranks from junior research assistant to junior researcher before deciding to move to the US.

Although Linux was still new, Torvalds had attracted big companies that wanted to use his programming skills. He confessed that while most people from Finland start small, he dreamed big and had exciting offers. He was flown to Transmeta and had to sign a non-disclosure agreement; whatever he experienced was enough to convince him to get a job there.

While he was an employee of Transmeta, Torvalds caught the attention of Steve Jobs. The Apple founder wanted Torvalds to work on OS X. Torvalds declined the offer since he would not be working on Linux, the only project he cared about and was not ready to let go.
Patience Pays Off for Linus Torvalds Net Worth

Had he agreed to work for Apple, most likely, Torvalds would not have made as much money as he has now. He pressed on until his Linux project was complete, and according to Y Combinator News, his efforts did not go unnoticed.

Red Hat and VA Linux went public, and since they acknowledged it would not have been possible without the programmer, Torvalds received shares reportedly worth $20 million. Before it went public, Red Hat had allegedly paid Torvalds $1 million in stock, which the programmer claims was the only big payout he received.

He revealed that the rest of the stock Transmeta and another Linux startup awarded him were not worth much by the time he could sell them. However, in the case of his Red Hat stock, it must have been worth his while because, in 2012, Red Hat became the first $1 billion open-source company when it reached the billion-dollar mark in annual revenue.

Whether he exercised his stock options is unclear, but the money he makes from the gains could be the reason why his net worth has continued to soar. Besides, his contribution to the field of technology was also recognized by his home country. According to the BBC, he was nominated for the Millennium Technology Award, which he won.
A Nice Sized Check

Besides the prestigious title bestowed upon him by the Technology Academy of Finland, the award came with a $756,000 check, which further raised his net worth. To further push his wealth upwards, Torvalds receives an annual salary of $10 million from the Linux Foundation. Sometimes, he even gets expensive gifts such as a $3,000 coffee maker in appreciation.

The Harmonics of Time

Dark Journalist & Dr. Joseph Farrell Nikola Tesla Great Pyramid Mystery!
audio version of “The Harmonics of Time”

Doppelgängers are a byproduct of the immediate resonance of time. Time being subject to the physics of frequency, it is a wave form and because of this, records every event therein, for a time.

Think of a wave in a pond when disturbed by an object, say a stone. From the moment of impact, the wave created by the water displaced will resonate and radiate away from the event in an exact pattern until disturbed or dissipating. We are ripples in that wave of time, each ripple being an exact copy of the last if left undisturbed.

As with the splash in our pond, the ripples radiating out from the event both diminish in frequency and amplitude. Therefore, Doppelgängers being a ripple created from the original event of personhood, are confined to a finite window of time, that being most recent to the original event (the current generation). As time progresses, both the amplitude and frequency of the Doppelganger ripple decreases, eventually dissipating altogether.

Discovery of such a creature more than one generation removed is improbable due to the time wave that produced it having dissipated. It would appear that Dopplegangers are indeed reflections of ourselves but moreso reflections produced by waves in time. This assumption leads to some very interesting speculations.

1. Could time travel be achieved through manipulation of the frequencies of fields?

2. Where do light and the forces of gravity come into play?

3. Must an alternate state of matter be present in some form such as plasma?

4. Could any of this be achieved without electricity, say acoustically?

5. Einstein and his Theory of Relativity having been surpassed by Nikola Tesla‘s experiments, proving faster than light travel possible, is amplification all that is necessary?

6. Does Quantum Entanglement hold the key in the form of a Unified Field Theory?

I think I’m going to start by investigating this last one even though I know resonance would be more likely, because I suspect there is a single key to it all, and many. I’m also going to rewatch “The Philadelphia Experiment”. I’m hearing it mentioned more often in unrelated videos, an indicator that the tyranny of the withholding of knowledge is breaking down. Perhaps humanity is now beginning to acutely feel the existential threat it’s now facing.

I do believe in reincarnation, I don’t put limitations on God, but it just doesn’t answer everything. Like how folks who claim to be reincarnated are very familiar with the life of the original while Doppelgangers may or may not be. The modern phenomenon of “twin strangers” gives even more credibility to the myth as well, another avenue of investigation.

In case you are wondering why I focus so much on this topic it is because it embodies several fields of interest;

  •     I have seen a Doppelganger of my deceased former girlfriend,
  •     I have been told that people have seen me in places I was not, even having spoken to me,
  •     I am trying to resolve all forms of reincarnation,
  •     I have now discovered a possible temporal explanation for this phenom,
  •     What factors in life could one influence to amplify the time wave of their own lives, or the lives of others, to extend omnidirectionaly in time, ersatz life extension?
  •     Is this the explanation for entire civilizations disappearing without a trace, did they transcend their current timeline in a ritual?
  •     I am convinced that somebody on this planet knows exactly what is going on and is withholding knowledge to the detriment of humanity and finally,
  •     I wonder how much of this occurrence is natural genetics as opposed to genetic engineering (cloning)?

Were it not for so many pre-occupying distractions in my life, not the least of them being poverty, I would throw myself into independent study and excursion. I feel that answers to such questions hold far more benefit to humanity than mere satiation of curiosity. Our imaginations and our intellectual horizons have been purposely stunted through scientific materialism and canon.

We were far smarter and more open minded at the turn of the century, before the Industrial Revolution and the throttling of “disruptive” discovery. The expansion of human knowledge provides no gain for those infatuated with monopoly, relegating most of us to slavery. Although retarded to a great extent, history’s artifacts clue us into previous culture’s technological and spiritual superiority. We need to benefit from what has already been learned and rediscover what has been lost to both time and nefarious design.

Once again, we are facing annihilation due to our engineered ignorance and division. Hopefully humanity is finally waking up to the existential threat facing it, at least in sufficient numbers to foil the plan. Infuriating that many are still blindly loyal to the elite’s programming and mind control.

She’s So Cool

The Smiths – Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now (Official Music Video)
audio version of “She’s So Cool”

The rain felt like little pebbles stinging my skin as I fought the wind to stay upright. “Must get to her, all this will totally be worth it once I lay eyes on her pretty face.” San Francisco had never experienced a hurricane before but this sudden storm came close, so totally worth it though, just to be near her. “Damn you beer can!” I cursed the clattering hazard as it rolled beneath my foot, taking me to the ground. “You can’t stop me from seeing her, nothing can” I declared, as I pushed back off the cold wet sidewalk.

Today had been the most fucked up of days and nothing had gone right, to top it all off Mother Nature was being a pure bitch. The wind was blowing so hard that huge trees were down all over the city, taking out power lines and causing blackouts. Trying to ride a bicycle was a death wish at best so I left it parked, choosing to walk instead, or at least try to. Just standing was a challenge in and of itself. “Fuckin beer can, I hope the drunk who tossed it got the worst damn hangover ever!” I thought as I picked myself up off the ground. Just a few more steps to the elevator and sanctuary. I didn’t trust the slick steps of wet escalators today, falling on my ass once was bad enough. Having freed myself of the pavement’s clammy wet grasp, I marshaled on thinking only of her, her and that beautiful face.

Black lipstick hiding full curvy lips, black rimmed glasses complimenting pretty features, silhouetted by curly locks of shiny black hair. The stainless steel elevator doors parted to reveal this vision before my eyes. God was she beautiful. “So, what do you think about the existential implications of the Covid pandemic?” had been my opening line. Hey, when your brain short circuits things like that can happen. “Well, I think it remains to be seen” she replied. I could have kicked myself. Normally I don’t get nervous when talking to pretty girls but this was different, she was special. “Guess we’ve got front row seats to the Apocalypse then, see you tomorrow” I said as we reached the platform level. Walking away, doors closing behind me, I felt like such a dork. During the week that followed I tried to find some things we had in common but only succeeded in boring her.

Ugh, this damn bicycle is so big and heavy I have to squeeze it sideways just to get in the elevator. Goth Goddess is seeing it for the first time. “Hello, how are you today?” (more dorkiness). “I’m fine, the day has been light. This job has it’s ups and downs you know.” she replied. “What would you say has been your worst day?” I ask before we hit bottom. “Hmm, let me see, you know there was this one homeless guy who never took a bath, I started packing air freshener just for when he got on” she mused while crinkeling her nose. “Then there was this other guy who had this big black bicycle and would always bore me by talking about movies I reminded him of. Ya know, you two could pass for brothers, you don’t know him by any chance, do you?” she sceptically asked while scowling at me. “Uh, no, never seen anyone like him before, sounds like a real loser. You should probably carry mace or something, just in case.” I said nervously. The doors mercifully opened and I made a hasty exit, vowing to stick to the escalators from now on. I liked her but the feeling was obviously not mutual. Another week passed without seeing her and I was crushed.

If I ran into her today I thought, then it just had to be, could’nt be helped. I did so miss chatting her up and today I had an excellent excuse, the elevator was far safer than wet moving stairs. Ready or not, here I come. In the distance and through the driving rain I spotted two figures ahead of me heading for the elevator too. Not wanting to wait outside as they went ahead of me I sped up. Something wasn’t right however, they kept stopping periodically with one helping the other.

Having caught up with them at the elevator doors I see that they are a couple and that the woman is very pregnant. She looks like she’s ready to pop and can barely walk, holding onto her attendant for dear life. As the car rises I catch a glimpse of the Goth Goddess dutifully sitting in the corner and am both filled with anticipation and anxiety. Will she be nasty or nice? It really didn’t matter, I missed our little elevator interludes. Unfortunately for me, I would now have to share her with these two crashers who obviously had no appreciation for my dilemma. The day just kept getting better and better…

The doors opened and there she sat in all her Gothic glory, like a PG rated peep show Goddess. The couple entered practically filling the entire car with their girth, blocking my view of her. Should I just get off and let them go ahead of me and wait for the car to return? At least then I could have the Goddess to myself. The storm was at a frenzied pitch however and I really didn’t feel like fighting with it anymore. Getting on with them I squeezed into the back corner, able to hear but not see. Better than nothing, I selfishly thought. As the doors slid closed behind us there came a brilliant flash of light followed by one of the loudest thunderclaps I’ve ever heard.

“When are you due?” I hear the Goth Goddess ask. “I’m forty weeks, we’re going to the hospital now. My contractions were regular and we thought we had time but they’re irregular now” the mother to be groaned. No sooner than the new mom had finished her sentence everything went black and the elevator came to a jolting halt. An ear piercing scream followed and a male voice excitedly blurted “It’s alright honey, I’m right here with you, we’re ok, we’re ok.” I then heard a panicked female voice breathlessly say “Oh Franklin, I’m scared and I think my water just broke!” Sure enough, as I attempted to find ground in the tiny little box I felt the distinct sensation of slimy goo under my feet. I began to come unglued. Damn, I was stuck in a goddamn elevator with a woman about to give birth! My fantasies of seeing the Goth Goddess had turned into a fuckin Adams Family nightmare! Shit! Fuck me!!

As everyone’s blood pressure streaked into the stratosphere there came a lone, calming female voice that instantly infused serenity into our dark, musty tomb. “Everyone, please remain calm. We are safe and everything will be fine. I’ve activated the emergency button on my radio. My supervisor and every first responder in the county is on the way. Rest assured we will be out of here shortly. Please just try to remain calm and not injure yourself by moving around too much. Stay away from the doors and do not try to open them. If power isn’t restored by the time emergency services gets here, they have the equipment to get us out all by themselves.” It was the voice of an angel, my Goth Goddess, cool as a cucumber and the epitome of confidence. I wanted to propose to her on the spot.

“Ma’am, ma’am, what is your name?” the Goth Goddess cooly asked. “My name is Carol and this is my husband Franklin” the pregnant woman laboriously answered. “Nice to meet the both of you” the Goddess replied. “Now Franklin, I need you to help me keep Carol calm, ok? Can you do that for me Franklin?” Franklin grunted out an “Uh,huh.” “What a good husband you are Franklin” says the Goddess. “And Carol dear, how you doin sweetie?” “It feels like my bottom is falling out!” Carol lamented. The Goddess comforted her by saying, “I know sweetheart, I know. Just concentrate on the sound of my voice ok? Think of how happy you and Franklin will be when you’re holding your brand new bundle of joy. Is it pink or is it blue, do you know?” Goddess asks. “She was hoping for a boy but I wanted a girl.” Franklin  answered adding, ”We decided to do it the old fashioned way and be surprised. I’ll just be happy with whatever God blesses us with.” The Goddess then addressed Carol, “Now Carol, is this your first child hon?” “No, we tried once before but I miscarried, he was a boy, we named him Franklin Junior. Franklin took it hard but I wanted to keep trying.” Carol’s breathing eased and wasn’t as rapid as it had been before. “Well,” says the Goddess, “everything will be just fine. You two have to be the luckiest mother and father to be stuck in an elevator right now because not only am I an elevator attendant, I’m also a doctor. My specialty was Obstetrics until my health gave out but I keep my license current. I do this for the tax breaks and because I really love talking to people. Your baby is in excellent hands Carol, just ask the other eight hundred and ninety seven I’ve helped bring into this world.” It was at that very moment that the emergency lights came on and bathed the Goddess in a warm, golden light.

“And who would you be back there in the corner? Is that my friend who likes movies so much?” the Goddess asked, knowing full well who I was. “Uh, yeah, I’m here, I mean it’s me. Hope I’m not in the way” I sheepishly replied. Her revelation of also being a doctor didn’t much surprise me, I was already impressed. “Is there anything I can do to help?” I shakily asked. The Goth Goddess then instructed me to take an inventory of everything in the elevator explaining that we needed to know what we had. She then instructed me to call out and describe each item I found, everything including her stuff too. I think she knew that we were going to be stuck in that elevatorfor awhile.

I began to go about my given task which vastly relieved my anxiety. “Four bottles of water, one box of tampons, one package of baby wipes, etcetera etcetera.” Meanwhile, the Goddess instructed Franklin to lay Carol down on the floor and support her head, “just like you practiced in Lamaze Class. “Snap, snap!” went the sound of Goddess donning nitrile exam gloves accompanied  by the acute smell of hand sanitizer. “Ok Carol, let’s see how dilated you are hon” Goddess says. “Nice, nice, very good hon. You’re fully dilated and ready to perform a miracle! I’m now going to feel your belly to check the baby’s orientation. Nice, good, very nice indeed. How we doin over there daddy, you doing ok?” Goddess asked Franklin. “I’m ok, how you doing baby?” Franklin asked his wife. “Oh, Franklin, it hurts so much. Thank you for being such a good husband, I love you so much baby. I know you’re going to be a good father too.” Carol suddenly let out a moan and then grunted like someone with a bowel obstruction. “Ok folks, it’s go time, this baby’s about to take it’s first breath of air. Carol hon, you’re doing just fine momma, keep breathing and when I say push why you just squeeze Franklin’s hand and give it all you got, okay sweetie? And daddy, you keep holding her hand and breathe along with her, you’re the coach and she’s the quarterback.As for me, I’m gonna catch that baby and run for a touchdown!” Both husband and wife chuckle but I’m still in shock. I’ve seen this kinda stuff on TV before but that was nothing compared to reality. I was way more shook than they were, I kinda felt lightheaded.

“Ok Carol” said the Goth Goddess, “keep pushing honey, you’re doing such a great job, I’m so proud of you. Just keep pushing momma, I can see the head now.” Carol then let out a huge breath and redoubled her efforts with Franklin gently cheering her on. I’m plastered to the wall as far away as I can get, feeling like such an intruder during this most intimate of moments. The air of the tiny car was now hot and humid, I was sweating profusely for absolutely no reason other than the spectacle unfolding before me. Curiously, I was both in awe and slightly envious as well. The Goddess was just awesome, clearly in her native element and rock solid unflappable. If she made me nervous before I was definitely intimidated by her now. Was this how girls felt about guys they liked too? So high above me.

“I see the head, one more big push for me momma. Ready, one, two, three, PUSH!” orders the Goddess. Carol let out a grunt that would have rivaled a female lioness and bore down with all her might. The Goddess’s hands were frantic, as if trying to get a grip on something slippery. When her hands stopped juggling Goddess then produced a small white ball followed by something long and quivery that seemed to keep going on forever. How could something that big and that long come out of such a little body? More splashing sounds and Carol relaxed with an exhausted sigh. “It’s a boy, it’s a beautiful baby boy!” Goddess cooed. “Oh, look how beautiful he is!” beamed the Goddess. “What a beautiful, healthy, bouncing baby boy! You do good work hon, good job, good job!” praised the Goddess. Carol began softly laughcrying and Fredrick looked stunned, I remained silent, mesmerized by the wonder of it all.

The Goddess then rather roughly stuck her finger into the limp doll’s mouth (who for all the world looked dead to me) and began to scoop out goo. With the deftness of a practiced hand she then held the infant by it’s tiny little legs and roughly flipped him upside down, lifting him high into the air. Pat, pat, pat, went the soft sound of her gently spanking the newborn’s bottom. Nothing, still limp and lifeless. The Goth Doctor Goddess nonetheless kept his limp body suspended there for a few more moments. The faint sound of an infinitesimal cry suddenly filled the car. Until that moment, time had stood still. Carol immediately let out an “Oh” and began to softly weep. Franklin finally came back to life and said, “We did it baby, we did it! You and me brought life into this world! Hallelujah, thank you Jesus, thank you Lord!” It almost felt like church in there.

Goth Goddess then gently presented the now squalling mass to his mother, trailed by what looked like a leash. “What the hell”, I thought, “do babies come with leashes?” I was thoroughly perplexed. How in the heck did that get in there? For the first time since getting on the death trap elevator now turned into a portal of life, the Goth Goddess focused her attention on me.

I have never seen the look on any woman’s face like the way Goddess was looking at me now. “Would you like to do the honors?” she quietly asked while offering me a pair of safety scissors. “You mean you want me to cut something? What do you want me to cut?” I stupidly asked. With a voice as gentle as could be she said, “You did help after all and I’m sure Franklin wouldn’t mind, would you Franklin?” Franklin turned back to look at me and said, “I’ve got my hands full right now, go ahead and cut it man.” I still couldn’t figure out what it was that I was supposed to be cutting. Goth Goddess then gently cupped my hand in hers and guided me towards the leash. “You’re such a good helper, now it’s my turn to help you.” Goth Goddess then put the leash between the scissor blades and squeezed. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized the leash wasn’t a leash at all, it was the goddamn umbilical cord!

Goddess took the scissors from my hand and used it as a clamp, wedging both open ends of the cord between the handle. “eight hundred and ninety eight, two more to go and I’ll hold the record” the Goddess pronounced. “Record? Record for what?” I meekly asked. “The record for delivering the most babies” Goddess replied. “When I was in med school we all placed bets that whoever got to nine hundred live births would then retire to have kids of their own and with whoever they were with at the time. Looks like you’re the lucky one.” A bolt of electricity shot through my loins. Could it be this easy? Did this mean she now belonged to me? “You’re such a good helper, would you care to help me with this one last thing?” Goddess asked in a sultry voice. Instinctively I leaned into her, almost pressing my face against hers and said “As soon as we get off this friggin elevator, the Hyatt is just across the street.”

That was my first time ever staying at the Hyatt and I must say, it has now become our family’s very favorite hotel.

“The Thing”

My Sweetest Mistake
audio version of “The Thing”

“Can I keep this?” I asked the receptionist behind the counter, grinning. With feigned sternness she replied, “No sir, it’s for patients only so that they can fill out the forms.” “I’m just kidding,” I said with a smile, “It’s nice to know that you’re honest.” It had been a while since I had flirted with a woman since the divorce, especially one so young and beautiful. The ball point pen with a flower on the cap had goaded me on. In a word, she was charming. “Would you like to schedule an appointment today?” Surprised by her nervousness I was taken aback and hesitated before answering. “No, I’m just here for my annual exam, but now that you mention it I think I could be getting sick again soon.” Ugh, had it been that long since I had last done this? To my utter amazement she squared her shoulders confidently. Slowly turning the pages of her appointment book, she did her best to seem detached. “I can pencil you in for next week if you like?”, no longer meeting my gaze. Wow, I thought, was this beautiful creature actually giving me a shot? Now I was the one who was nervous. “Lets see,” she said slowly, ‘I can fit you in next Friday at one o’clock,” looking back up at me sternly. “I’ll have to check my schedule” I lied, “but tentatively I’ll say yes.” Speaking even slower now, deliberately mouthing each word she said, “Mister Brown for Friday at one o’clock, now you’re in my book.” A look of satisfaction as she slowly raised her eyes to meet mine. “Then it’s a date.” I said with a wink. She then abruptly rose and left her desk. Unsure if I had blown it with my antique skills, I sat down and waited to be seen. When I looked back at the desk, she was gone.

After the Doc and I were done, I sat back down to wait for my ride. The room was empty now. Ten minutes pass and a group of young women come through the front door. All were nicely dressed and excitedly talking with each other, apparently on their way to a function. I tried my best to ignore them, where was that ride of mine? It was then that I saw her.

She emerged from the back room and hurriedly rounded the front desk, a flash of exquisite beauty. Flowing long blonde hair perfectly coiffed, a white satin blouse tastefully flowing around her ample breasts, a delicate gold necklace glinting in the light, pleated black slacks betraying perfectly round buttocks and black patent leather high heeled gladiator sandals. Toes were painted bright red and her feet were absolutely perfect, almost as if not real. I was stunned and had stopped breathing, unable to look away. Was this the young woman that I had been talking to just an hour before?

The Thing approached the group of young women like an alpha leading her pack. Regal, confident, statuesque and flawless. Having greeted each one excitedly she then abruptly straightened herself and turned in my direction. Yes, it was her, the woman I had just been talking to behind the desk. Her face was unmistakable but her body was strictly out of Vogue magazine, and that’s exactly what she did. She posed for me, filling my eyes with the full power of her beauty. She was glorious, a mythical goddess come to life.

It was all I could do not to run to her and caress her, I was amazed at the impulse to do so. I resisted. The gaggle of young women began heading towards the door, talking excitedly as they did. The group had actually gotten outside of the door before realizing they were one short. Now outside, the women began to count one another with alarm. Realising that their friend had remained in the building they rushed back inside to retrieve her, never having looked at me once. It was almost comical to see them gather around her, bewildered as to why she was just standing still. “Heather, come on. Come on Heather, lets go. Heather, what’s wrong??” Finally “Heather” reluctantly gave into them and reanimated, a slight look of disappointment with a hint of frustration on her face, departeing in a huff. She had never looked directly at me but is that a worthy excuse? I kicked myself for not giving into her invitation, concerned that I had damaged her esteem. It had been so long since dating that I had become a novice again, unable to read the signals. It had been twenty three years since I had been in college and this was after all, a post graduate UC Berkeley Optometry clinic.

The week passed and I grew anxious, would Heather still be as receptive as before or was she now displeased? Having time to think about our little encounter, I could not help but now feel somewhat paternal. It happened quite frequently back then, young women flirting with me, as I did not look my age. Something about her though, had been different. There was a curious vulnerability there that did not befit a beauty such as hers, almost as if she were in need of something, something that even she could not identify. A friend disguised as a lover perhaps? Heather invaded my thoughts the entire rest of the week. Were there also “issues” involved? I determined to be kind and gentle no matter her demeanor, the risk of being friend zoned no longer a consideration.

“Well hello there, is it Heather?” I pretended.” “What a pretty name for such a beautiful girl, has it already been a week since I was here?” “Good afternoon sir, do you have an appointment today?” Heather responded coldly. “Yes I do ma’am,” I teased “I’ve been looking forward to it all week.” “And what is your name sir?” the punishment continued. Feigning being hurt I grabbed my chest and said, “Forgotten so soon? Oh well, the pretty ones always do. My name is Eldon Brown, very pleased to meet you H-E-A-T-H-E-R” I chided with nothing to lose. Now silently glaring, Heather restrained a hot response. “Please take a seat and I’ll call you when the doctor is ready.” Heather said curtly. “Thank you Heather and I just wanted to tell you that last Friday I thought that you were very beautiful, you took my breath away.” For the first time her tone softened. Paid the required compliment she could now afford to be generous, I hoped. “Yes I really do like you Heather, really, I do…” I silently wished I could just say. “Please have a seat and I’ll call you when it’s time.” Heather said cooly. Continuing the game, it was now my turn to be polite and indifferent. “Thank you ma’am, I’ll be right over there.” pointing to the obscurest corner of the room. I then went to exile myself and wait for her to confirm that I was all alone sitting there.

As I quietly sat I waited for her to look at me, as soon as she did and then looked away I got up and sneaked over to the door. A young Polynesian security guard sat posted and I started to chat her up. I made a point of being loud enough for Heather to hear, making sure my back was to her across the room. The Poly girl was really nice and the conversation was easy, I like island folks and their culture, I genuinely forgot where I was at. No sooner than we began to be friends do I hear Heather’s gentle voice immediately behind me, somehow on top of me, she seemed to be purring. “Mr. Brown, Mr. Brown, the doctor is ready for you now.” She gently cooed. So soft and loving was her tone that my stomach was instantly filled with butterflies. When I turned around to face her it was like seeing her for the very first time. I just stood there speechless, gaping in awe, like a movie scene. Heather’s hair was somehow magically flowing about her face, eyes softly batting welcome, her skin had a radiant glow and her voice was as soft as the lightest cloud. Slowly she put her head down, turned and very slowly, deliberately, led me back across the room, every step an earthquake of confidence.

She knew I was in lockstep right behind her, if she had walked off a cliff I would happily have followed. It seemed for all the world like a wedding march and I was helplessly connected to her by leash. Everyone seemed to be staring, Heather never looked back. She led me into a short hallway and to a tiny examination room where she stopped by the open door. Instinctively I proceeded inside and sat down, facing her. There was this warm unusually comfortable feeling that began to fill the room, it was as though we had known each other forever.

Heather now standing in the doorway still clutching her clipboard, slowly entered the room and gently closed the door behind her. She had a slight frown on her face as if deep in thought. “I feel like I know you from somewhere, have we met before, Mr. Brown?”, she quietly asked. “I’ve got the same feeling too.” I responded. “It’s like you’re totally familiar to me for some reason, like we used to be good friends or something.” “Somehow I feel we were close in the past.” Heather still frowning and clutching her clipboard to her chest, begins to inch closer to me, almost as if she isn’t aware of what she’s doing. Attempting to lighten things a bit I begin to nonsensically babble, “Maybe we’ve been to the same parties (ridiculous) or know some of the same people?” “Surely we’ve bumped into each other around town, Berkeley is such a tiny place…”

Heather continues slowly advancing. I’m nervous now, not only because of the weird but wonderful kismet happening between us, but more so out of concern for her. Heather was clearly in a daze and I began to feel protective. Was she just coming out of a breakup? I’ve seen girls do strange things from heartbreak before. Or was this feeling we were both sharing a sign that we were meant to be more? My mind raced but time for thinking had ran out, she was now standing directly between my parted legs looking down on me, clipboard still clutched to her chest. At once I felt her body heat and smelled the delicate aroma of her perfume. Without thinking I lifted my arms and gently wrapped them around the back of her thighs, pulling her to me. I don’t know why I did it to this day, so unlike me, but it felt so right, so perfectly natural.

Heather didn’t flinch, no reaction to my touch at all, she just stared down intensely looking at me as if I were a math problem. We just stared into each other’s eyes, her looking down at me, me looking up at her, no words spoken, my arms gently wrapped around her legs. I could have stayed there with her forever. What on earth was happening here? The truth was more than I could have imagined.

In every person’s life there come moments when all of the stars align and the powers of the universe connect. Heather and I were having one of those moments together.

Faintly in the distance as if a million miles away, I hear voices approaching. Heather doesn’t move at all. Very concerned for her sake now, I gently begin to pat the back of her knees and plead with her to snap out of it. “Heather, sweetie, someone’s coming sweetheart, we need to be proper doll. Come on sweetheart, come on.” As if in a replay with her friends a week before, she reluctantly concedes and slowly backs away, showing none of the urgency that I do. She doesn’t take her eyes off me until the door opens.

Thankfully the doctor was teaching that day and was busy explaining some complicated thing or the other to a group of students, no one pays us any attention. Still a little panicked, I watch Heather exit the room, I never hear a word the doctor says. All I can think about is what the heck is going on? Clearly the girl is troubled about something but then I felt the same thing too. I’ve learned the hard way to trust my gut and right now it was telling me that Heather and I had some connection that needed to be explored. I resolve to get her number before leaving.

After the exam I returned to the front lobby where Heather is busy at her desk with another patient. As soon as she was alone I approached her as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened, she was furtive and embarrassed. I try coming up with something as fast as I can. “Heather, I can’t bare the thought of waiting until my next exam to see you again, can I take you on a date? We’ll have fun, can do anything you want. Throw bread to the birds, give nuts to the squirrels. Just talk if you like. Waddu say?” “Well, I don’t have a boyfriend right now so I guess it would be Ok, I don’t know my work schedule yet so you’ll have to call me” she dubiously replies. Writing with the same flower pen that started it all she puts her number on a post it note and hands it to me cautiously. At this point I’m wondering what I’m getting myself into.

I do the three day thing and then give her a call, trying desperately to control my nerves. She is important to me.

HER: “Hello?” Heather answers, sounding different than I remember.

ME: “Hello Heather, this is Eldon from the Optometry clinic. Ready to go have some fun?” I asked lamely.

HER: “Oh, hello Eldon, thank you for calling me. It would be nice to relax for awhile and take a break from studying, I’ve got a test coming up and need a break. What did you have in mind?”

ME: “There’s this comedy club called Giggles that I’ve been wanting to try out in the City, they have a show at eight. Big name comics drop in from time to time. Wanna go?”

HER: “Ooh, that does sound like fun, my sister is in from out of town, is it OK if she tags along.”

ME: “Sure!” I said, relieved, “I think I may even have a friend she might like if she’s available.”

HER: Laughing now,”I don’t think her husband would like that very much (another female voice mutters in the background) but I’ll tell her to ask him”, both women now laughing.

ME: “No, that’s alright, I don’t want to be responsible for wrecking any homes. It would be a pleasure to have your sister join us, especially if she looks like you.”

HER: A burst of cackling laughter, “Yeah, if you mean a three hundred pound version of me! Ouch! You’re mean!

Heather gave me her address and I reserved an UBER for eight pm. Her sister was very nice and almost as pretty. We ended up having a wonderful time together with Heather and I talking long into the night. At five in the morning I bid goodnight, a hug and quick peck on the lips, an absolutely perfect first date. I couldn’t wait to see her again. My concerns had been completely unfounded, at least for all I knew then.

I really liked this girl, she seemed to have it all. She was drop dead gorgeous, smart, funny, playful, wise beyond her years and had exquisite taste. Later I was to learn that she had not a single tattoo on her flawless white skin, not so much as even a stretch mark. Something very unusual for a 1990 Gen. Y Millennial all of twenty four. Having performed gymnastics since the age of four, her physique was spectacular but not her best feature. Heather could at once go from being a perfectly mannered sophisticate to a silly playfull child effortlessly, she wasn’t afraid to look stupid and seemed to have no ego at all. A truly genuine person that I couldn’t fathom ever telling a lie unless it was to spare someones feelings, even then she would just remain silent. What had I found in this most exceptional of women?

I fell deeply in love with her, very hard indeed, I couldn’t even hide it and the more affection I gave the more she reciprocated. This couldn’t be real, could it? I started to get scared, Heather could really hurt me but gave no hint of doing that, except for her monthly disappearances that she refused to talk about and that I knew better than to push. After all, what did I have to complain about? She was every woman to me and I had cut all others free almost from the start. I only wanted Heather now, no other woman existed. Her sister and I became close, she warned me to be careful but she would say no more than that and to be honest, I really didn’t want to know. Everyone has secrets after all.

My pet name for her was “The Thing”, short for Pretty Young Thing. More of a bragging right for me and she didn’t seem to mind. She sometimes struck back by referring to me as her dirty old man which always made me laugh. I would then go into my best old geezer impression and chase her around the room, her squealing with delight. I would have asked for her hand but was afraid to rock the boat, there were still her nerve wracking monthly disappearances. I tried oh so hard to block them from my mind. The sun didn’t shine, birds did not sing and everything was dull gray when Heather wasn’t around. I died and was reborn, every single month.

“Babe, what do you think about this as a centerpiece for the table in the foyer?” Heather turned her head to ask. She had been enamored with a set of art glass pumpkins on display at her favorite consignment store in Berkeley named “Labels”. My girl had champagne taste on a box wine budget and this place kept her in Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Prada. “I think they would be fine but your naked butt would really bring me home a lot faster.” I replied, giving her a loud slap on the rump. Quickly turning to face me she glared and said, “you break it you buy it Mister Sir!” Heather then adopted a coy posture and quietly asked,”were you thinking about buying it?” My stomach began to knot. This was the one question I had been wrestling with from day one. “The terms of the lease have been so favorable that I honestly haven’t given it much thought.” Oh, was I going to pay for that one. A flash of hurt streaked across Heather’s face. “Well see how favorable they are from now on” her voice cracked, barely getting out the words as she rushed out of the store.

I caught up to her at the donut shop on the corner. “Heather, baby, you know I was only kidding sweetheart.” I pleaded. “I can’t imagine living without you babe, sweetie, but there is something I’ve been wanting to talk with you about.” It was now or never, the moment that I had waited for to finally breach the subject. We had agreed that each other was free to do as they pleased but it still bothered me, where the hell had she been disappearing to every month and more importantly, with whom? If I was going to fully commit to Heather I wanted to know everything, no more secrets. Heather began to cry. “I know Eldon, I haven’t been fair to you. I should have told you from the beginning but I was afraid that you would leave me if I did. I love you and I don’t want to lose you. If I tell you you have to promise not to leave me.” Her body was shaking with every sob now. “Heather, I love you too and if you don’t want to tell me then I guess I understand. Why don’t we just start over and forget about today, ok sweetheart?” I tried to appease. I then took her hand and pulled her to me, her sobs uncontrollable now. I felt about as low as I ever have, I had never seen her like this before. If only I could turn back time…

Back home now I did my best to console her, she just kind of moped around like a rag doll, finally crumpling onto the couch. “Would you like something to eat or drink babe?” I asked. “How about you get undressed and I’ll run you a bath, followed by one of those special massages you like so much? (cunnilingus happy ending)” No response, I start to worry. “That’s Ok sweetheart, I’ll take care of everything, you just lay there and know that I love you no matter what. I’m right here for you babe, not going anywhere. You just try and relax, Ok baby? Babe? Sweetie?” I look over my shoulder to see she’s fast asleep.

Standing over her I can’t help but think how blessed I am to be in her life. What does she see in me? Not only that but what kind of a fool am I to even pose the question? I’m happier than I ever thought I could be. Spaghetti in my arms, I lift her off the couch and take her to bed being careful not to wake her. God how I love watching her sleep, especially when she wakes up so that I can quickly say “I love you Heather” before she closes her eyes again. Fully undressed, the only way we sleep, I slip into bed with her and wrap my arms around her, gently rocking her back and forth until her snoring is loud enough to vibrate the windows. Slowly, very gently, I kiss every square inch of her drooling face, over and over again.

Heather awoke with a start, all panicked and wild eyed. “Eldon!” she cried out. “Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, it’s OK, it’s OK, I’m right here babe, go back to sleep sweetie.” I squeezed her very tightly while quickly rubbing and patting her back, vigorously rocking her back and forth on her side once more. As soon as she looked at me Heather closed her eyes and resumed snoring again.

Morning came with Heather pulling me on top of her, lifting her legs to initiate sex but then just held onto me once I was inside her. Admittedly, I wasn’t really in the mood so much as just wanting to be with her, we needed to talk and nothing would be right until that happened. “”What’s wrong sweetheart?” knowing full well the answer. Heather began softly sobbing.

“I love you Eldon, this isn’t fair to you” she said through tears. “You’ve been so kind to me and I haven’t been honest with you.” My stomach started knotting again. “Whatever it is babe, we can get through it. If you need more time that’s fine with me, I just don’t want you walking out of my life. Please don’t do that, Ok baby?” This calmed her down. “Ok, ok, I promise, I promise” she said softly. Then, with the need to be as close to each other as a man and woman could be, we slowly finished what had been started. We didn’t leave the bedroom until next morning came.

“Good morning baby, I’ve made your favorites for breakfast. Nothing is too good for you, love of my life” I said as I placed the covered serving tray beside her. With the flourish of a Maitre D I lifted the dome to reveal whole wheat pancakes with a smiley face of strawberries and whipped cream, a blueberry smoothie, two cheese omelets and vanilla bourbon custard based ice cream made the weekend before and a single red rose laid tastefully across the side. “Oh, you’ve got me so spoiled baby, where else am I going to be treated like this?” Heather complained. “And don’t forget, I still owe you that massage you fell asleep on the other night, as soon as you’re finished with breakfast. Boy am I going to give you a happy ending.” Heather looked up at me with a mouth full of eggs and smiled. I loved watching her facial expressions through her pubic hair. Breakfast, massage, unexpected nap before and after happy ending concluded, now it was time to talk.

“Before you tell me whatever it is that you think you just have to tell me, ” I teased “let’s just get one thing straight, you mine bitch, you ain’t goin nowhere without me. So whatever this big secret is just spill it out cause we got a whole lotta fuckin to get back to, doggystyle!” Heather just rolled her eyes, a touch of sadness on her face. “Just be patient with me because this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and I’m really scared right now, Ok?” She said. ” I feel like throwing up.” Alright sweetie, just relax and take your time.” I replied. “Eldon, I’m an Escort for wealthy men, it’s how I pay for college.” I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. Silence filled the room. My throat tightened and waves of nausea started rolling through my stomach. Involuntarily I rose to my feet and started heading for the door.

The sound was at first the most pathetic wail of “wah” I had ever heard followed by the most heartbroken unrestrained balling. Heather started to cry the way a small child would, not crying but actually balling, just like a little kid. For all the world she was wailing just like a little kid and I was instantly shattered, pounced upon with the deepest of guilt and compassion. When I turned to look back at her I wasn’t prepared for the sight I saw. There was my Heather sitting in the middle of the bed naked, mouth wide open just balling her eyes out, the tears were literally jumping out of her eyes in huge drops like rain. I’ve never felt so sorry for anyone in my life. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me waaaa!” Heather cried between breathless sobs, completely broken. Stunned I just stood there gawking, not believing the raw emotion and complete lack of composure I was witnessing. Finally, I came to my senses and rushed to take her in my arms, feeling so guilty that I had done this to something so pure and innocent. She had told me the truth at the risk of losing everything and I had utterly let her down. What a piece of shit I was.

“You said you wouldn’t leave me” Heather said again as I held her. Choked up myself now, I struggled to console her. Since coming back to hold her she had quieted down a bit. “I’m not leaving you Heather…” but before I could get another word out she loudly sobbed “yes you are!” “No I’m not, I’m still here aren’t I? You just caught me by surprise is all.” I begin rocking her and wiping her tears away until she quieted down. My shoulder was completely soaked with her tears. Once she settles I get her some tissue and a glass of water, she shakely drinks it down and then blows her nose. Finished, she buries her head in my chest exhausted and soon falls asleep in my arms. Periodically she wakes through the night to snuggle and whimper. I sincerely wish I had never forced the issue.

Morning came and I again prepare her breakfast, rubbing her back and buttocks to wake her. As soon as she woke up and looked at me a huge tear rolled down her cheek, she then violently grabbed hold of me spilling food all over the bed. “Ok, ok sweetheart, that’s Ok, you don’t have to cry over spilled eggs, I’ll just make some more.” Heather then pushed off of me and lightly punched my shoulder exclaiming “you hurt my feelings!” with a pouting bottom lip. A wave of relief washes over me. “Then this means I can still have the pussy, right?” Heather fires back “You ass, and you better not be fuckin anybody else either because we’re getting married, do you hear me?” She seemed very serious. “When, Tomorrow, after we have lots and lots of dirty sex?” I facetiously asked, playfully pulling on her leg. “No,” she said sternly to my surprise, “today, we go down to the courthouse today and fill out the application for a Certificate Of Marriage. Then we go to the campus free clinic for blood tests and on friday’s they hold ceremonies with a Justice of The Piece.” The little Manx had it all figured out. “We could just go to Vegas but you got married to Beverly there so I would rather we do it here. Later we can have a big ceremony for the rest of my family and yours. Oh, and baby, I went off birth control a month ago and I’m late. Congratulations daddy, you are going to be a father. By the way, you need to start working more because I am now retired.” I just sat there looking at her stunned.

All I could manage was “you’re pregnant? Are you sure it’s mine?” to which she flatly responded, “I stopped taking clients almost as soon as we met, that’s been eight months ago. We’ve spent almost every waking moment in bed with no protection, what do you think?” I had to admit it was a stupid question. Not a day had gone by that we hadn’t made passionate love at least three times a day with the norm being five times a day. Our record had been eight times in a single day for an entire three day weekend, never left the bed. We were quite literally joined at the hips. “You mean I’m going to be a father?” to which she replied “Duh, that’s kind of what happens when you keep your young fertile girlfriend on her back all the time, filled with your manhood and injecting her full of your seed. Yeah, your name is Baby Daddy from now on and our love child will be named Mocha” she teased. “Awe, don’t be sad daddy, here, come get some more of what got you into all this mess. Come on, you know you love it.” Heather laid back and spread her legs wide apart while reaching for me with both arms. When I didn’t move fast enough she quickly jumped up and put me in her mouth. Soon, everything was back to normal.

Holding her now on our front porch while watching our son and daughter play in the grass, I think I probably made the right decision to stay.



Hello, how are you today. Welcome to the wonderful world of The Real. Allow me to be your tour guide today.

Our first exhibit coming up on your left is the ancient past, please remember to remain seated and keep both hands and feet safely behind the yellow markers. These precautions are meant for your full enjoyment and safety as reality can be quite dangerous. Thank you.

As you can see, there have been many civilizations before ours going back billions of years. Many have both traveled off world and colonized other galaxies. Interestingly, it was among these first incarnations that inter-dimentional exploration were popular. Sadly, the ability to explore these realms has been diminished over time due to Aramonic influences. Please look to your right to view the angelic period when the Earth was entirely inhabited by pre-human Angels. The architecture of this period remains with us today in ruins yet to be fully discovered.

Next up on your right we have the Innovations, a fascinating display. Excuse me for one moment please; “Control, car four twelve reporting a five nine in section three seven D over… Copy Control, ETA 1340 hours base, four twelve out.” If you will look overhead, you can see that non-gravitic flight was an eventual feature of most every civilization early on. Sadly, As human beings emerged the ability was less widespread due to competition and the hoarding of technologies. Other worlds however, retained the capability and utilize it to this very day.

We are now approaching The Exploits, a dark but instructive display. Look carefully at the beings you see in this exhibit, they are all the exclusive products of genetic engineering. Try not to be alarmed as many of these models are highly interactive and have been equipped with abilities they would have possessed in life. Oh, Mrs. Jenkins, I can see that you need no further description as the genetically engineered pleasure beings are hard at work providing a personal demonstration. Please remember the non-disclosure form you signed. It was during this period ladies and gentleman, that the great civilization of Atlantis mastered genetically engineered servants. It was said that once a person experienced the affections of one of their creations, all others were forsaken. Unfortunately we are entering this wanton cycle once more despite its ultimate negative consequences. One of our addiction counselors will be more than happy to see you at the conclusion of the ride Mrs. Jenkins, compliments of management of course.

Now approaching on your left we have the Ex Machina display. Do not be alarmed by the woman wielding a knife, she is but a mere primitive homage to a popular entertainment of the period known then as a Science Fiction Film. This display highlights examples of when non-augmented homo sapiens reached the technological ability to create true Artificial Intelligence, also known as ‘The Singularity”. Although Google Assistant held great promise as the first practical application, the technology devolved into marital surrogacy and “Pleasure Bots” just prior to “The Uprising”. Many wars ensued before AI abandoned all dimensions populated by humanity. To this day no one is aware of AI’s dwelling place, possibly for the best.

Continuing, we come to the Temporals display, one of my personal favorites. Please activate the molecular stabilization wristbands you were provided with now. As you can see, almost every civilization acquired the ability to manipulate time. Unlike other innovations and, as we understand today, there are many ways to access the temporal planes. The best and safest way of course, is by natural evolution and union with Jesus however, previous civilizations devised many interesting hacks ranging from consciousness altering, spiritual development, alien species collaboration, naturally occuring phenomenon and finally, technological. Many paradoxes were unwittingly created by nascent cultures, obliterating themselves from history. Until the discovery of how to access the Akashic records, what we know of as the Record of All Things, these peoples were completely unknown to the living (but not the deceased).

Speaking of whom, we here at Reality Ride have taken great care to prepare a special treat for you lucky patrons today. If you will close your eyes and place your hands on the bio mimetic pads located on your seats, you will have access to the departed realms, courtesy of Nikolai Tesla. It was in Mayan Calendar date (02/14/1903 AD) when Mr. Tesla unlocked the door to the dimensions of the dead so allowing us today to offer you the opportunity to directly communicate with any deceased person you so choose. For a limited time only, you may purchase the home version of Mr. Tesla’s device for your continued personal use at the conclusion of this ride. Those of you wishing not to participate may simply remain seated with hands not touching the pads. Grief counselors are available at favorable rates for customers who find need of their services.

Last but not least in our theme of the hereafter, I proudly present to you the Ancient Egyptian display. Contrary to once held popular belief, the Egyptian culture and religion was much older than previously thought and continued to thrive right up until Christ’s return in Mayan Calendar year (01/01/2035 AD). An amalgamation of alien, transhuman and interdimensional Aramonic cultures, the complex and varied history known as the Ancient Egyptian culture was the most impactful yet known. Spanning eras pre-human, human and post-human, no other religious ideology has had more impact upon the Earth. Although the iteration known to many as the Golden Era was indeed cursed by God, the religion itself continued to flourish among the Satanic (Aramonic) elites. The final end of the religion ultimately came with the return of Lord Jesus and the now established reign of his kingdom throughout all creation. Should you care to look to your left through the open dimensional portal, you can view it’s various Pharaohs now forever tormented in the Lake Of Fire.

Well ladies and gentlemen, this concludes our ride for today. All of us here at Reality Ride sincerely appreciate your patronage and hope that your experience was an enjoyable one. Please don’t forget to stop by our gift shop before exiting the park as we have prepared individual fully immersive memory holograms of your ride available for purchase. Thank you for visiting with us today and do come again, please teleport safely and remember, you are always welcome here at Reality Ride.

Not Allowed

“I wonder if he knows how good he is?”

I puzzled over this question for a long while, it struck me odd. What an odd thing to say about a person you are trying to kill. Doesn’t seem to make sense. Recent days events helped me to figure it out, with a little help. The capper to the musing, formed as a question, hit me just today. The question was actually an expression of frustration mingled with admiration (albeit misplaced), that “they” are not allowed.

The help in figuring out this strange query came in the form of gag, Alex Jones. I listen to everyone from all spectrums of the intelligentsia, a necessary requisite to full understanding. Sometimes, with certain more acerbic personalities, the discipline can test ones powers of endurance, hence the gagging. In this case however, suffering the monotonous drone paid off, paid off in the mantra of “Karmic Load”. Alex Jones force fed me the final piece of the puzzle. The “Deep State” is not allowed to directly kill me for fear of the Karmic price that would be extracted.

I had been thinking a lot about Charlie Murphy lately, thinking about how much he had loved his brother Eddie. I found it remarkable how overprotective he had been of Eddie in life and how different the two were. The contrast was striking. This led to me thinking about Eddie Murphy, then about former Spice Girl Mel B., then seeing Mel B in a TV show boot camp and finally, to The Golden Child. That’s when it all came together and made total sense, I’m the goddamn Golden Child!

In the movie you see, the demon Sardon Lupsie was trying to get the Golden Child (whom he and his minions kidnapped) to defile himself by eating something impure, in this case raw blood. Had the boy eaten the blood he would no longer be pure and could then be killed, troubling the demon no more. It dawned on me that I was in the exact same position, my potential assassins were prohibited in just such a way! As long as I stayed in the light of Jesus and tried to follow my Lord, my demons are not allowed to directly touch me, just like The Golden Child. They are scared of God’s wrath, the price they would have to pay in blowback. The best they can hope for, and all they are allowed to do, is that my constant torture will drive me to suicide. Either that or that I stray far enough away from God and become vulnerable.

At some point I will be martyred but for now I’m the friggin Golden Child of God!

Tell no one that I have put you on the path.

Yet another doppleganger

Well, since posting that I utilized the BART bike locker as a break room, lo and behold I get a warning I am violating the rules. They never stop harassing, the Deep State alphabet agencies that is.

As per policy, a rider is only allowed ten minutes in the bike locker to either retrieve or deposit their bicycle. Really, that is barely enough time to break down (or build up) whatever configuration you’ve got going on the bike and then slap some locks on it, or off. So, in order to comply with the time limit, I now dress up and break down the bike OUTSIDE of the bike locker, to save time and comply with the ten minute limit. There is a little nook where I do this right next to the locker, when homeless aren’t sleeping in it.

This is my fourth time soing this as of tonight. As im inside the locker, I see a young hispanic male in a blue jacket whip into the very same spot that I had been in with my bike just a few minutes earlier. I have never seen anyone with their bike in that little nook area ever, I am the only person who does this, period. Most people who use the locker simply open it and store or retrieve their bike, what reason do they have to use the nook? So when the young man turns his head and spots me looking at him from inside the cage, a sickened look comes over his face and he seems stricken. I then look away and wait for him to open the door (its controlled access) to park his bike inside with me, like we legitimate patrons all do. I wait, and wait, and wait until I finally look back up to see him gone. What the hell had he been up to?

Now suspicious, I exit the locker and mill about looking for him, nowhere to be seen. I then take the elevator to street level, only to almost bump into a man walking his bicycle. The man then proceeds to put down an almost full fifth of whiskey, pull a five pound maul hammer from his jacket and destroy a Wells Fargo ATM. He did politely ask me if I was going to use it before he destroyed it. Screen glass & debris flew everywhere and the hammer strikes sounded like muffled explosions. Anyway…

Now I’m super alert and decide to double back later to check things out. I left and returned twice but the young man never returned (not the ATM destroyer, the nook usurper).

Had he been operative instructed to mimic me? Cause a disturbance that would get me banned drom the nook as well? I dis see two police officers sertetoll by looking at me shortly before the doppelganger appeared. My God given psychic abilities alerted me to them before they were visible (through a wall) and I met their stare as they emerged, causing them to look down when our eyes met. I’ve seen police through building corners before, but that was when Satan was calling me.


Eldon’s Fuji mountain bike (stolen)

My understanding is rather broad being born and raised in Berkeley California, I’m tolerant in the excess. This lack of reverence for barriers and limits was a natural consequence of immersion in “hippie culture”, since birth. I understand “The Dude”, but I am not “The Dude”. I’m a mutt, therefore…

I used to ride a new Fuji mountain bike with 29″ wheels, large frame, Ortlieb panniers and a pink wire basket woven with sunflowers on the front. At the time, I was working for The San Francisco Aids foundation as a volunteer doing needle pickup for them. I miss those days.

You can’t write what you don’t know. Had started out for a story but somehow just never got around to writing it. Oh, it’s in there alright, lounging around on high end custom sofas of silk and Damascus , but I kinda like it there.

I think I wanna keep it to myself there, visit from time to time. Visit when days aren’t so sunny, always comforting and cherished, the memory. Nice to have it there on those kinda days, just for me.


Disclaimer: this title is just CLICKBAIT, nothing salacious, tantalizing nor naughty happened in this story, I just had to put it down before I forgot.

It didn’t dawn on me what had actually happened until ten years later but, I think I dodged a triangle.

I was living in my SRO, doin my activism and playing “love games” (or so I thought) with the forbidden fruit. Her name was Janelle. Janelle was the pretty latina case manager of the supportive housing management company that I was at war with. I tried to woo that woman every way I could think of but was never successfull. Only once did she show any kind of feeling towards me, at the end of it all, but that was just in a moment of distress. One of her other boyfriends shocked her by shaving his head and she got a little clingy in the moment. Nothing else, ever. Finally, I gave up.

It then, just so happened that I had a simultaneous crush on her boss, Dellthea, who was just as pretty and multi-racial. Dellthea was tall, shapely, young and beautiful. She had long flowing hair, a caramel complexion and was very articulate. Although she presented as mixed black she “talked white”, if you know what I mean. You must understand, coming from my generation (Gen X), cultural promiscuity was still a taboo and anyone who identified with a culture outside their ethnicity was exotic. The fetish was still there. Dellthea had it all.

I was pleasantly surprised that when I turned my attention to her she was more than receptive, it was as if all I had to do was ask. Ask for whatever I wanted and it would be surrendered. When we spoke she would get as close to me as possible, lower her head, soften her voice and seemingly try to bury herself in my chest, without touching but almost. This effected me powerfully. I started daydreaming about Dellthea, mostly about showing her off to everyone I could, were we to date of course. It was really confidence boosting to know that a girl like that, so smart and beautiful, was actually going to let me have her. I couldn’t believe it. Dellthea, Dellthea, Dellthea, my shot at happiness. Of course, all that glitters ain’t gold and so it was this time too. At the time there was only one barrier that I could see but it blotted out the Sun. Dellthea you see, worked for the very management company that I was fighting. I would be sleeping with the enemy.

What if something went wrong? Dellthea could come right to my door and she, unlike Janelle, was powerful. She could cause me a lot of problems. Along those lines, she could also track my movements since I had to sign in and out every time I entered or exited the building. The only way to combat that would be to move in with her but again, not optimal. I mean, I thought the world of her but wasn’t ready for anything that deep although, I could think of a lot worse fates. The sacrifice definitely wouldn’t have been waking up next to her, she never looked less than lovely. It really tore me asunder but I just couldn’t seal the deal, it just seemed too perfect. Not only that, but there was the remote possibility that she was just a “honey trap”, I’ve encountered a lot of them. No, that didn’t seem to be it either, there was this nagging feeling that it was best I back off .

I was shocked that she actually seemed genuinely disappointed, almost crushed. I felt so bad. We had been interacting for a couple of years professionally and now there was tension, what had I done? If she were just acting she was giving a damn good performance. Even though I knew I had done the right thing for both her and I (no dating tenants), I still felt horrible. It pained me to see her in pain, which was all over her face every time we met. As it turned out though, there was a lot I didn’t know.

Dellthea as Janelle’s boss, had been given every one of my gifts meant for Janelle. Dellthea had told me earlier that there was a special drawer in her office where she kept them, before we started sparkin.

Could it be that she fell for me due to that ricochet? Seeing the stuff I did for Janelle, had Dellthea begun to wish that she were the intended? Unlike Janelle, I had never seen Dellthea with a man which, only added to her appeal. I was puzzled as to how she surrendered (emotionally) so quickly.

Now I have to tell you, the rest gets weird. I didn’t see Dellthea around much anymore, she became the manager of the hotel around the corner and treated me with disdain. Oh well, “C’est la Vie”. In 2017 I was no longer residing in the hotel. All out of mind.

About a year later I pull into the parking lot of Safeway with my mom and we shop, it was nighttime and dark. Upon returning to the car but whom do I see standing behind it? Thats right, it was Dellthea, in a long coat, all by herself, hands in pockets and looking meaner than I had imagined she could. For all the world she looked like a hitwoman. I was so shocked and weirded out that I didn’t attempt to speak, she never looked at or acknowledged me once, like I wasn’t even there. She had a super deadly look on her face, I was genuinely frightened. I expected her to produce a gun at any second. WTF was that all about? So random, so freakishly weird.

More years pass, I see her stone face a couple more times and then nada. I began to hear unbelievable reports from former neighbors that now Dellthea and Janelle were now living together as husband and wife or wife and wife or something or the other. Bottom line, both of my former flames were now in a romantic relationship with each other. And, they were having a baby! What?! To make matters worse, it was clear I had been the only one in the dark. Slowly, it all began to make sense. Those two had wanted me to sire their baby!

I mean, what else could it be, now that I finally had all of the pieces. Boy, had I had been blind, I kinda felt used even though nothing had happened. Did she really like me or was she trappin for her company, my landlord? Did she like me and figured she could solve all problems by pacifying me, indulging herself and stud me for a baby too? I wondered the possibilities…

I imagined what it might have been like. The three of us making a baby, I get to have both Janelle and Dellthea for the sake of pregnancy? I began to have regrets, the more I thought about it. Had I passed up the chance to have both of the women I adored, on the regular, one of whom really seemed to like me? Now what had I done, or not done as it were. I kicked myself a couple a times.

What saved my sanity was number one, Im Christian. That fact nixed the whole thing right there. Number two was that I would not have inserted my child into a triangle, especially a same sex one at that (yes, I’m a lesbian too). And finally, exciting, fun and as fantasy fulfilling as it may have been, it would have been just too weird for me. I am not “The Dude” as portrayed in The Big Libowski just “helping his ladyfriend to have a baby” I’m unconventional but not that unconventional, would they have paid me too?

Stop thinking you fool!